Sadness is annoying. Debts are annoying. I already had only one meal a day, most probably a soggy piece of bread. I thought of moving out of my shabby room as I barely stayed in it, doing all kinds of part time jobs. I had just finished my shift at the store and started walking down the alley when I saw him.

 

Moonlight seemed to ripple on his skin, his form tall and lean. His stance made me feel he was waiting for someone. I tried to ignore him as I made my way down the street, and surely that was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

 

“Miss,” he said. I turned to look at him, his hair white and his eyes a blinding silver. I immediately sensed that what I was looking at was not human.

 

“Yes?” I asked, trying not to get scared.

 

He turned and walked silently towards the mini beach. Walking wasn’t what he did exactly, though. It seemed more like gliding while tapping the road in between. The rational part of me was terrified, yet I followed him without questioning as if I was under his spell.

 

He sat down on the sand, facing the waves and drew his knees close to his face. His eyes were fixed on the blurred horizon where the sea meets the sky. From the intensity of his stare, it seemed he could make out the distinction between the two, though it was barely visible for me in the night sky. I sat down beside him, waiting, well, I don’t know for what, may be to hear him out. We sat there together, don’t know for how long, with neither of us uttering a word and the sight fixed on what seems like the end point of the world. This silence, the rhythm of waves crashing on the sand, the movement of clouds in the emptiness and fullness of the air and the darkness – everything here had an aura of otherworldly peace.  

 

There was no sound, yet I could feel a distant cry in my heart. In seconds I heard another one, as if in response.

 

When I saw the inky blackness thin out, a light pink appear in the sky and the waves turning grey, I decided to speak. Among the million questions that ran through my mind, what I spelt out was this, as if I am talking to myself: 

 

“Does peace exist?”

 

The man didn’t move or make a sound for one solid minute. His eyes were still fixed on the horizon. Then his mouth opened ever so slightly, and he began to speak.

 

“No. But the idea of it drives the world. Everyone strives for their idea of peace. Peace can never be found because life is made of hope and desire for something and these two causes are in conflict. True peace is nothingness, but nothingness contradicts your existence.”

 

“Then”, I cleared my throat, “is there peace in heaven?”

 

He chuckled.

 

“There is neither heaven nor hell. When you die, the pieces of your soul get scattered and dissolved into the universe while the body reunites with the earth.”

 

I could feel his words inside me as if they had been there all along. Well, we could relate to something that is already a part of our inner being.

 

I heard a giggle, somewhere farther, it seemed.

 

“Why am I hearing things?” I asked him.

 

“What we are hearing is actually happening, somewhere. The giggle you heard is of a little girl continents away. There are many other things I could let you hear, but then it would drive you crazy. If you do not move, think or feel, you can hear your soul speaking. Your soul is made up of everything in this universe, and it will guide you.”

 

“How can we not think or feel?” I wondered.

 

“You can if you try. It works differently for everyone. If aided by someone not human, it could be a lot shorter and easier.”

 

“Are you not human?” the question gushed from me, without knowing, “Who are you?”

 

“I cannot prevail more upon you, if I do, you’d be stripped of everything that makes you human. The little power I have used is fading, and now we can see the return of the human in you, the annoyance and the curiosity.”

 

I returned to silence till he spoke.

 

“I am death. Everything comes from and returns to me.”

 

I was numb, not shocked, not scared. Just numb and blank. He broke the momentary void inside me as he spoke again.

 

“I am also the cause of what is in between the beginning and the end – the Desire! Because it consumes life and returns it to me. Without desire, life is death.”

 

I nodded, as if I’m starting to understand.

 

 “Then why are you with me now? Am I dying?”

 

“Not only you. I show a glimpse of me to every life before they finally return to me. Life, to be valued for it’s beauty, needs to know my existence.”

 

Everything started making sense now.

 

“Then- ,”I started to say something, but I could no longer see him.

 

Everything felt vibrant, colorful and energetic. I felt like I had woken up from a long sleep. All I could hear was the sounds of the waves and the vehicles of early risers. The world had gone back to normal, but something was different for me.

 

I could still feel his presence all around me.